An inherent problem with public relations is you're usually writing headlines and pieces in Word, on an 8.5" by 11" inch page -- but that's nothing like how it'll get published in a newspaper.
No matter where it gets used - a blog, a newsletter, on radio or TV -- it'll get shortened and smooshed beyond recognition.
When writing a headline, it's natural to use up all your white space, like this:
Mariners trade Joe 'Lefty' Johnson for prospects, case of India Pale Ale
Now look at the front page of any newspaper. Only the most important stories get what they call "banner" headlines, ones that stretch all the way across the page.
Most stories get a headline that stretches across two or three columns, at the most.
It's also typical to run stories in a single column, which means a headline that has to fit in a single column, usually in two rows, but sometimes in three or more rows.
So a 12-word headline that works fine stretched across a page in Word won't fit in a single column, because it would stretch forever, like this:
Mariners trade
Joe 'Lefty'
Johnson
for prospects,
case of India
Pale Ale
If you cut it in half, to six words, if fits just fine.
Mariners trade pitcher
for prospects, beer
Not only does it fit better, it's a straight, hard-news headline that has more in common with soft, grabber headlines.
The six-word version does a better job of getting the attention of readers, and it gives people an easy way of spreading the story.
They won't remember all twelve words of the long headline.
They will remember "Mariners trade pitcher for beer."
The same problem exists for your intro and for every other paragraph in your story. When you write things in Word, a paragraph that looks fine will become ginormous and unreadable once it's laid out and put into columns.
An easy way to test your headlines and text for length is to switch Word into two-column mode -- or, if you're flexing your writerly muscles, three-column mode. You'll instantly spot headlines and paragraphs that need breaking up.